I make up stories about people all the time.
The elderly woman walking home with a bag of groceries? Clearly lives alone, eats dinner over reruns of Jeopardy, and her kids? They never call.
The group of teens in hoodies hanging around the park? Probably up to no good. Skipping school, vaping, swearing… and kicking squirrels.
That guy in a fancy suit ahead of me in the Starbucks line, yelling into his phone? Total jerk. Definitely someone’s worst boss.
I know. I know. Judgey, right? Yes, but you do it too. All day long, whether you realize it or not.
It’s judgement. And it’s also instinct. Our survival once depended on spotting a tiger before it spotted us, or realizing a stranger from another tribe wasn’t just passing through.
That ancient reflex is still wired in us. Only now, it shows up in subtler ways. It’s the root of stereotypes. It fuels gossip.
It even explains our fascination with reality TV, watching strangers and making snap calls about who’s good, who’s fake, and who’s getting voted off next. It’s also a hot mess of misreads.
How often have you found yourself completely wrong about someone? Be honest!
Or worse, how many people MIGHT you have been wrong about if you stuck around long enough to find out?
What’s the opportunity cost? At work and in personal relationships when we do that? Has it saved us more than hurt us?
This very quality that keeps us on the planet today leads to bias, misunderstandings, lost potential, and all kinds of other problems.
Why this topic? Why now? Beyond the obvious tension between everyone, everywhere these days (and how these may eventually lead to our downfall, ironically), I had a much less serious moment of epiphany about someone I wrongly judged.
Who? Jerry Jones, of course. Owner of the Dallas Cowboys. I didn’t know much about Jerry Jones, just enough to form a snap judgement. In my mind, he was like every other rich, older, white guy who owns a major sports team. Big business. Big ego. Probably built his empire stepping on others. Maybe some of that’s true. But none of it was based on anything real. It was a story I made up.
Then…
I watched America’s Team, a Netflix documentary series about none other than Jerry Jones and his journey to ownership and management of the Dallas Cowboys for 30+ years.
Here’s the thing about stories. There is no absolute truth. Just additional context.
I realize the documentary was fully endorsed by and featuring Jones and his family. Of course, it would be a flattering account of the family and franchise. But there’s so much I didn’t know. Here’s a guy who leveraged himself beyond what I could ever imagine, many times over. Then he struck oil and became a hundred-millionaire and bought a football team.
I was impressed by how genuine it felt. People spoke candidly about the good and the bad. He spoke about mistakes he made. Invited some of his critics to say their piece too.
I came away from the story waaaaay more impressed by his spirit, and by what he built for and alongside his family.
And as a business owner and lifelong marketer, what a brilliant story of a sports franchise. So much of what we know of sports marketing today, the commercialization of the NFL, and the license to print money for any major franchise, comes from Jerry Jones, the trailblazer and breaker of conventions.
It made me think about all the people hidden behind their labels, demographics, stereotypes and resumes. And how much we’re missing when we don’t get to know the person behind the thing they do.
It’s why I love the work we do. To understand a business or a team, you have to want to understand people.
There’s no shortcut to defining a company purpose, no drive-through order for leadership vision. You don’t get those answers from a résumé, a job title, or a LinkedIn profile.
You get them from stories. That’s why we take the long(er) road. We sit with leaders. Talk to their teams. Listen to their customers. We mine for meaning until we find the thread that makes them different, better, and the right choice for the right people.
It’s also the heart of our new podcast, And That Changed Everything – a show about the turning points, decisions, and moments of meaning that shape who we are and how we lead, because every great business story starts with a human one.
Check out Episode 1 with one of my favourite people, Dr. Katilin Link.
Mary
PS: I’m a sucker for a good sports story. Got any obscure sports docs I should check out? I think I’ve reached the bottom of the Netflix barrel. Reply with your favourite and I’ll send you my top 5.
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Mary
P.S. We help visionary leaders and organizations achieve more impact through purpose, engagement and storytelling. When you’re ready, here’s how we can help:
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