Invite me to a meeting and I guarantee you’ll have at least one super engaged, curious ideator in the mix.
I’ve always taken pride in my ability to add value in the room.
I can jump in, comprehend quickly, put the disparate pieces together into a clear picture of what’s next.
I’m like Curious George who ate a bowl of enthusiasm for breakfast.
Good things came from that. Early in my career, I got all kinds of pats on the head for this very skill.
Great contributor. Full of ideas. A breath of fresh air in the room..
Later, as I gained more responsibility for the success of people and teams, it got more complicated.
We’re in a boardroom one afternoon talking about the digital buyer journey for a new service offering. Smart people. Lively conversation.
Someone says something that connects to a podcast I listened to. That makes me think of something I heard at a conference.
Here we go…
I get excited. Connect the dots. Build off of what others share. Wave my arms. Draw some stuff on the white board. I can see the solution like we’ve already created it. This is the best meeting ever! The team agrees. I’m sure of it.
Two weeks later, I walked into the follow-up meeting.
Zero progress.
How could this be? After the best meeting ever?
We had a flow chart. In erasable marker.
Clear signs of next steps.
Am I wrong?
Yes, Mary. You are wrong.
At about the same time, our leadership team had gone through a diagnostic exercise to understand our thinking and behavioural styles and ultimately learn how to work better together.
This is going back 10 years or so. I’ve done a dozen of these assessments since. Now what feels obvious to me was entirely new back then.
Turns out I’m a highly conceptual and social thinker with a high degree of expressiveness and assertiveness.
For anyone who knows me: thank you, Captain Obvious.
I walked out of that meeting thinking:
We built the thing.
Someone else may have walked out thinking:
Mary just changed the direction again.
Someone else:
Wait. What exactly am I supposed to do?
And maybe someone else had an idea they never got the chance to say.
That project, alongside what I learned about myself through assessment, was the first time I recognized not only the power of strengths, but also their blindspots.
The world I see isn’t the world others see.
I live more comfortably in the future than I do in the present. I see opportunity and potential.
I can visualize an outcome while having no sweet clue how we’ll get there.
Knowing that about myself has changed the way I try to show up in a room. I don’t always get it right.
I remember making a commitment to myself around that time: never leave a meeting without making sure we know what happens next.
We’re all in the boat, and it’s all of our jobs to row it forward.
I’ve been the person rowing like hell. I’ve been the person sitting in the boat admiring the destination. And I’ve definitely been the person who suddenly spots a more interesting destination and starts rowing in a new direction.
I’ve also learned to work harder to make the future I see tangible for other people. To distinguish between “here’s another possibility” and “I think we should change direction.” To recognize that my enthusiasm for a new idea can create energy, but it can also create confusion.
Seeing farther isn’t the same thing as leading people forward.
Warren Bennis, the great leadership thinker, said:
“‘Know thyself’ was the inscription over the Oracle at Delphi. It is still the most difficult task any of us faces. But until you know yourself, strengths and weaknesses, you cannot succeed in any but the most superficial sense of the word.”
I once heard someone say that before doing these kinds of exercises, they assumed everyone else was basically just like them, only not as good at it.
There’s probably a little of that in all of us.
What comes so naturally to you that you assume it comes naturally to everyone else?
When that part of you is turned all the way up, what do the people around you experience?
Your greatest strengths are probably part of what got you where you are.
They may also be the best place to look for what you still can’t see.
Great meeting, everyone.
I think.
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Each week, I share something I’m learning, living, or working out in real time. It’s part storytelling, part reflection. I hope there’s something in it for you too.
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