The engine climbing the hill, pitch rising, that high whine right before it drops into the next gear.
A racehorse at full gallop, hooves pounding, foam at the mouth, ribs heaving for air.
The first thin whistle of a kettle, before it starts to scream.
You. The last time you got pulled over for speeding.
Heart beats in your head. Stomach lurches. Cheeks flush and you forget your own name.
Me over the last few weeks. A nervous system in overdrive. Only there’s no race, no hill and no cop tapping on the driver’s side window.
What to make of that, I don’t know. Maybe it’s the schedule. Maybe it’s the gifts that come with aging. Maybe it’s an overzealous medical practitioner prescribing a bit too much thyroid med for this body. I’ll work that one out with her.
In the meantime: resting heart, high. Recovery, low. After one flight of stairs my chest pounds like I’m a ninety-year-old smoker.
Yesterday was a doozy. Full work day. Husband travelling. I’m a single mom to two dogs. The teenage kids returning home just in time to unload and pack their stuff for a nine-day trip to the US – a wedding and family reunion at a beach house.
And still, I managed to carve out dinner with a good friend. We’re working on a project together. She’s giving a talk about the autonomic nervous system and what it means to be switched ON all the time, burnout and what to do about it.
She’s one of my favourite people and this is one of my favourite things to do. We brainstorm, we plan, we organize and iterate.
Two hours float by and I forget how tired and wired I was before.
I read somewhere that even fifteen minutes catching up with a friend can measurably lower cortisol, your body’s main stress hormone.
Add to that the feeling of being totally immersed and present in an activity you find fun and challenging. Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi called this flow. His research showed people are at their happiest there, and a ten-year McKinsey study later found they’re also five times more productive.
And somehow you find time, energy and more presence in what you do. And your nervous system responds.
I’m not unique in any of this. Maybe with the exception of my thyroid. Chances are you are also overcommitted and easily distracted. Perhaps your energy is riding at the edge of bubbling over. Maybe you’re so used to it, you don’t even notice.
Eventually, your body will tell you. Maybe you stop it before it does. Spend time with friends, do the things that light you up. Do nothing at all. Also can’t hurt to get your thyroid checked.
This is what I’m bringing on vacation with me.
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Each week, I share something I’m learning, living, or working out in real time. It’s part storytelling, part reflection. I hope there’s something in it for you too.
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