I have a T-shirt people closest to me might say sums me up perfectly. If you don’t agree, you may not know me well enough…yet.
I believe in bringing great energy into the room as much as I possibly can. All things feel better that way. We get one life. Let’s choose to live it with joy.
And then…Someone does something careless, inconsiderate, or just drives in front of me like time is optional. Mine is not.
Elbows up. Don’t mess with me, my people, or my time. There’s an edge there. I like that about me.
I was in a room this week with about 50 business owners.
The topic was credibility. What builds it. What erodes it.
The usual answers came up.
Do what you say you’re going to do. Be honest. Be kind. Be courteous.
All true. All table stakes.
Is that enough? No, of course not.
Credibility tells people you can lead. Connection makes them want to follow you.
I learned a long time ago in my consulting life that people like to work with people they know, like, and trust.
It’s the difference between “Can I trust you?” and “Are we in this together?”
I spent two days with fifty business owners in the room. A coach guiding the conversation. People weighing in, challenging each other, sharing what they’ve learned. We were all there with good intentions, focused on growth, progress, and getting better.
The intentions are great. And sometimes the contrasts too.
One person spent ten minutes walking through everything they’d built over the last decade. The growth. The wins. The scale. It was impressive.
Then someone else took the microphone and said,
“Most days I ask myself,what am I even doing? I can’t believe my business has grown the way it has, and I’m half-convinced something’s going to happen that takes it all away.”
The room laughed. It was funny because it was familiar.
Every single person in that room recognized the feeling, even though no one had named it out loud until then.
The energy in the room shifted immediately. So did the credibility.
Who felt the most trusted in that moment?
Who felt the most relatable?
Who did people lean toward afterward?
I work with some of the brightest, most successful people in the world. People with big ambitions and genuinely soulful intentions for their teams and the impact they want to make.
When you lead by cataloguing your wins, it creates distance between you and the people around you.
Why does that matter?
When people don’t feel personally connected to you, it’s almost impossible for them to feel deeply connected to what you’re building.
Which brings me back to that T-shirt.
Mostly peace, love, and light. With a little edge.
It works because different parts of us serve different purposes.
Credibility gets you in the room. Connection is what keeps people there.
The line between the two moves with the moment and the people in front of you. That’s the work.
So here’s the takeaway: The next time you’re tempted to lead with your highlight reel—with your team, your peers, or your customers—pause.
Ask yourself:
What would help people feel closer to me right now?
Sometimes it’s your confidence. Sometimes it’s your honesty.
Know yourself well enough to lead from the right place in the right moment.
Mostly peace, love, and light.
Consider yourself warned.
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Each week, I share something I’m learning, living, or working out in real time. It’s part storytelling, part reflection. I hope there’s something in it for you too.
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