I used to think sleepless nights with a newborn were hard.
Traveling during the holidays in a snowstorm? Brutal.
Hosting a sleepover with a group of 8-year-olds? Not a good idea.
That was before this week.
Managing our sheepadoodle puppy fresh out of major abdominal surgery. Impossible.
It’s like being parents of toddlers again, on constant lookout to prevent:
falls from heights
electrocution
impalement
It’s like:
emergency responders racing toward the latest incident
bouncers breaking up a bar fight (between dogs)
Imagine:
airport security during a system outage
lifeguards at a wave pool on free swim
Meet Annie.
A giant stuffed animal with a heartbeat. Forty-five pounds of fluff and joy, outmatched only by her boundless energy.
Not the “control your dog” energy. Not the “who raised you” energy.
Just happy, game-for-anything energy. And zero awareness of her current condition.
What happened to animal instinct? The wisdom of nature?
No such luck.
We’re just starting day 6 of 14.
Strict instructions: no running, no jumping, no playing, no having any sort of fun at all
The only visible sign of surgery? Her pink surgical suit.
No matter how much I want Annie to slow down, she can’t.
There’s no reasoning with a dog.
I can’t explain what’s at stake. I can’t help her imagine consequences. I can’t sit her down with Netflix, hot chocolate, and the entire Star Wars cinematic universe to distract her for days.
So we default to what’s available.
Rules. Barriers. Constant supervision.
And the worst part? She has no idea why we’re yelling at her to stop jumping, stop playing, and stop doing all the things she was born to do.
I need Annie’s buy-in and I can’t get it. If Annie were human, I could reason with her.
I could explain the situation, appeal to her judgment, and trust her to act differently. But she’s not.
People are different.
You can imagine outcomes that don’t exist yet. You can evaluate tradeoffs. You can decide what’s worth it. Your choices reflect those priorities.
How much of what you do is guided by rules, incentives, and metrics?
How much is driven by your instinct to make meaning and do what matters?
Now look at your team.
What shows up most in your conversations? Meaning or metrics?
Are you on a shared mission, or managing a six-month-old sheepadoodle most days?
Managing behavior is hard. Directing energy isn’t.
With Annie, there’s no choice. Rules, barriers, supervision — that’s the job.
With people, there is a choice. Control, contain or inspire and motivate.
A lot of what feels hard is actually unnecessary friction.
As for Annie, I’m so glad for naps. Even when they come after jumping on a chair.
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Mary
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